This is going to be a downer post but I just need to relieve some frustration.
I am frustrated that I still had an overeating episode although I ate intuitively all day.
I am angry that ED still has control in my life.
I am impatient with the fact that the weight I've gained in recovery still hasn't redistributed.
And I'm even more annoyed that my digestive system is still off balance.
The worst part is that my solution to all these problems is to go back to ED behaviors.
Yet, ED is the one who caused the problems in the first place!
I am at a healthy weight and want to maintain but it's hard to resist urges to lose, considering I could lose 5 pounds and still be considered healthy, and it's difficult to rationalize my fears of gaining. I could gain five pounds and still be in a healthy weight range, but ED has deemed anything above my current weight to be taboo.
Sorry for the randomness of this post, but I needed to air my worries.
If you read this rant, do you have any suggestions?
On a side note, I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts, and I also appreciate all your thoughtful comments!