Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Spring Break Recap

 Hello loves!
This post will just go over what happened in the remainder of my spring break!
Last Wednesday, I went into the city with my mom.
We had made reservations at Ohm Spa without really knowing much about it but the experience turned out to be amazing. I have never had a massage before and I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't self conscious of my body at all.
I was able to relax, despite being ticklish, and just enjoyed the moment. Despite my hair and make-up being messed up afterward, I was so happy that the tension in my muscles had dissipated.

The picture to the left is of my NYC outfit. I went simple with a Free People top, jeans, ALDO flats, and a Betsy Johnson necklace. To be honest, I had considered not posting this picture because ED deemed that I looked too fat in it. Look at how close your thighs are, how your stomach isn't flat and how your boobs are too big, it said.
But I want ED to shut up. So although I'm not entirely comfortable with the way my body looks, I'm through with listening to my disorder's commands.

 After the Spa, my mom and I went over to Eataly because my mom had been dying to go.
For those of you who haven't heard, Eataly is Mario Batali's brain child that is basically a huge, Italian Whole Foods.
By that time, I was very hungry, so we were faced with the decision of whether to eat in the Verdure section or in the Pizza and Pasta section.
ED wanted to eat vegetables, but I wanted pizza. Pizza is THE fear food for me and I've been waiting for an opportunity to face it, and here it was.
I was able to eat FOUR pieces of pizza because that's what I wanted to do. And I ordered the Quattro Formaggi pizza opposed to a vegetable option. And, quite honestly, I enjoyed every oily, carb-filled bite(:

Salad my mom and I shared

Vegetable and Quattro Formaggi Pizza, I had two slices of each!

Onion and cheese foccacia that I brought home for dinner(:

Snacks for the road. New Clif bar flavor: Peanut Toffee Buzz
Bear Naked Trail Mix, and Seaweed Snack discovered thanks to Julie
 On Friday, my family and I departed for my grandparent's house in upstate NY for Easter. I wasn't expecting the trip to be very difficult, but it turned out to be triggering.
Being with my family in eating situations was rather anxiety provoking. But I made it through without using any ED behaviors and I did enjoy myself despite some struggles.
When I was very anxious, I went for a run on roads lining the lake and that calmed me.
Then, I went to the water's edge and, like a crazy person, started talking to myself. Yes, I know that is weird. But, for once, I wanted to act like my own best friend. So I told myself that everything would be okay, that I am beautiful and worthy to love and be loved.
This talk with myself actually helped a lot and, as silly as it sounds, I would suggest the idea to others as a coping skill!
I made this delicious coconut cake for Easter and I am proud to say that I had a piece.
I am even more happy with the fact that I didn't binge on all the deserts available, despite the urge to overeat.

The most beautiful Finger Lake by far
This picture doesn't do it justice!
 More to come soon!

Do you have a favorite place?
Do you self-talk?


Ash said...

I'm so glad you were able to really enjoy yourself in NYC and even step outside your comfort zone! That's so amazing that you had that pizza and really liked it. And you really kicked ED's butt by putting the picture up of you, I think you look adorable!

The coping mechanism you used sounds great and I really think it will work for me the next time I'm struggling. It's so cool that your grandparents live on a lake, because my grandpa does too, in northern Wisconsin. I love going there in the summer and just going for boat rides or swimming. It's so much fun.

Can't wait to see more of your spring break :)

willing_to_recover said...

well done on the eats! :) And love your body it's beautiful. ED is a lying b***h that no-one should have to cope with. Its just a load of blah blah blah. (Plus I'd give anything to have some boobs back atm lol. Keep up the good work hun! <3