I'm still stashing up exchanges for the end of the day, then feeling overwhelmed by them, then going to sleep bloated and uncomfortably full.
This cycle has continued every day.
I want, no, I need this cycle to end. These habits are just reinforcing my guilt and anxiety surrounding food and I DON'T want that. I love food, I love being healthy, I want to be happy! And the way I need to get there is to take the first right step.
My dietitian and I have been working on challenging me by trying new fear foods and adding more into meals during the day so I don't save it all up for later. This is very scary for me but I am so ready to break out of my ED behaviors and learn to be normal.
Here are some quick eats pictures:
|Oatmeal w/ 3 nut butter and iced coffee|
|So Delicious coconut yogurt w/ Kashi GoLean crunch and coconut|
|I was able to bring fruit to lunch! Which may not seem like a big deal but it was an important step for me.|
I brought a KIND bar (fear food), cottage cheese w/ edamame hummus, and apple, and mixed greens.
|Just me hanging with two fear foods, eaten within hours of each other!|
I had the Clif bar and post-run fuel and Blake's Mac and Cheese for dinner.
Also new, I have been running at least twice a week and it's amazing. I have been able to keep ED out of my exercise which is a huge change from when going for a run was a tortuous and abusive battle between ED and I. Now, there is no judging, and I am trying to listen to my body while pushing it to do it's best!
For now, I'm not focusing on speed so much as building up endurance. My goal is to join the cross country team next year.
Well sorry for the rambling but this post must come to an abrupt end! The last day of school before spring break awaits.
How have you been challenging yourself?
What is your favorite exersise?