Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Leaps and Bounds

My spring vacation has begun, and it is a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of school. Not to say that I haven't kept busy. I've only been off for two days and I have been able to do a lot within those 48 hours.

This, despite the fact that my tummy has been giving me troubles. I've had strange stomach cramps and a lot of bloating, accompanied by either extreme hunger or complete satiation. Mixed signals much? Because of this, I've tried to keep my dairy intake to a minimum, and my food simple.
My simplified meal pictures are below, but my mom tells me that nut butters could be the source of my woes.
Oatmeal w/ 3 nut butter, honey, and an apple

Plain greek yogurt w/ honey, almonds, raw carrots and zucchini

Oatmeal w/ banana and almond butter

Green monster of greek yogurt, spinach,
frozen strawberries, and vanilla almond milk

Oats w/ chai seeds, apple, and trail mix

Iced coffee, mixed greens, asparagus, Newman's Own light balsamic
and an apple w/ cashew butter

My stomach pains weren't helped by the fact that I had an incident of overeating the other night. It was more out of control than it has been in a while and left me feeling very guilty in the morning. But I can push past, and try again. Life won't end because I had a couple cookies. Sure, it's uncomfortable, but I'm confident it will end soon.

Cookies I baked for a bake sale at my younger brother's play
Yesterday, I was able to take two really big steps.
I swam for the first time since November. I used to swim six days a week, 12 months a year. My eating disorder robbed me of the joy and love I had of the sport. I thought that I would never be able to experience the elation that comes with diving in a pool again.
But just going in the pool for a couple laps was amazing. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face and the scent of chlorine never smelled so good. Although I love running and yoga, my body was not built for it. I have a swimmer's body. I used to resent my "large" thighs and wide shoulders but now I am so grateful that my muscles remember how to take me through the water.

Another big step that I took was going out to dinner with my friends. We had a mini celebration for my best friend's birthday. The local hibachi place has half-priced sushi on Mondays so we were able to sample a lot of different things for a really low price.
Going out to eat used to be really stressful for me, but now it causes minimum anxiety. I got a shiitake mushroom and asparagus roll, as well as a sweet potato roll, and thoroughly enjoyed both. In addition, I sampled all my friends deserts. I was going to order one of my own, but they were all out.
At the dinner, I was able to focus on what was truly important, my friends, and not so much on the food. And I had a great time!

Today I went to my local high school, I go to a Magnet High School, not my home town's school, and shadowed one of my friends as a freshman for a day as they already had spring break. Despite running into some triggering situations, which I will delve into in greater detail next post, I had a fun time seeing old friends.

Tomorrow my mom and I are going into NYC for a massage, shopping, and lunch! I'm very excited and I can't wait to share how it goes.
Until then, ciao!

Any advice for stomach troubles?
Have you had a dining out experience lately?


Ash said...

I'm glad you're having such a fun spring break! I'm always surprised at how much more stuff I can get done when I don't have school!

I'm sorry that you've been having stomach issues. I've been feeling similarly recently and it's no fun. I've been drinking lots of water but I never thought that nut butter could be the cause. Hmmmm...

Sushi is so good! I've never been to an actual sushi place though, so I'm jealous. The rolls you got sound yummy and it's great that you had dessert, too! And even though you struggled with overeating, I know you can conquer it!

Keep enjoying your spring break :)

Missy said...

Yay for swimming in a healthy way. It is so very special, huh?
We've been doing it since we were conceived. It's like flying kind of, too.

Anonymous said...

ahhh yes for pampering yourself my love!! And I am so proud of you for going out to dinner- and being okay with it! This was so good to read, keep up the amazing work my love!
(p.s it is kimi from timeforhappiness but I have to use my old blogger account from school to comment idk why lol)
<3 you!

Haley said...

I'm sorry your stomach is hurting you! :/ I would recommend Tums! They always help me.

And don't beat yourself up about the overeating. You're right that life will NOT end on account of a couple of cookies. You probably needed the calories, anyway. ha :P

Yes, I've actually gone out to eat A BUNCH recently. In California, we went to Panda Express for lunch. Healthy? NO. But I ate what I wanted! ha.
And Connor and I went out for Mexican Sunday night. Wayyyy too much chips & queso, but hey that's ok. It wasn't restriction or a binge, so I'm fine with it. I'm readjusting how I eat and see foods, and it's going to take some getting used to.

P.s. your oats look yummy with the 3 nut butter! Do you stir them in or what? do the oats taste really nut buttery or only a few bites? Just wondering how I should prepare mine!

P.p.s. It's great that you were able to enjoy your time with your friends ED-free. Doesn't it make life SO much better? :)