Although times have been tough, I am really proud of myself for making it through. I have been so frustrated and battered by my internal perfectionist and ED voices. But I fought back. I didn't follow my urges, and gave my body what it wanted despite my fear of overeating.
This week has reinforced my appreciation of all the amazing support I have. Everyone in the blogging community has been amazingly understanding and it feels so good to know that others want me to fight ED too. Additionally, I am so extremely blessed to have my parents. They can't completely understand the battles that rage in my mind but they are always there for me. I have also reconnected with alot of friends, whose support I am grateful for.
Life is a roller coaster right now, but I know that things will level out, and it is going to be okay. Learning to be okay in the moment, to appreciate the little things, to smile despite the clouds, are the concepts that I am slowly starting to grasp.
I don't need to be 100% content with my body or my eating or with the way my day is going. Things that make me happy don't have to be big. They can be a hug, or singing at the top of my lungs to a song, or watching really bad movies with my brothers and kittens.
So thank you, everyone, for your patience with me while I've been working through things. I feel so much better now and I feel happier. ED can't control me, I won't let my perfectionism define me. I have to much to live for.
Here are a couple pictures of my meals, sorry for the blandness, I was scared so I stuck to staples, but some variety is sure to come soon!
|Banana overnight oats made with vanilla rice milk.|
|TJ's meatless meatball on sesame Ezekiel bread.|
I was scared to have this but it was really so so so good.
|mango in TJ's mango yogurt, edamame salad with|
Newman's Own low fat Sesame Ginger dressing
|Pineapple cottage cheese mixed with Greek yogurt|
|OIAJ in the last of the Sunbutter|
|Greek yogurt mixed with Nutella, |
a chopped chocolate mint Clif Builders bar and chocolate chips
|1/4 cup oats, with 1/8 cup almond flour and 1/4 cup Ezekiel almond granola|
What are some little things that you appreciate?