Monday, March 28, 2011

"Just enjoy the show."

I just want to thank everyone so so much for your patience and support. I know my posting has been sporadic and my mood has been all over the place but I feel that things WILL get better.

I can't say enough how much it means to hear all of your loving words. I truly love and care about each and every one of you and could not begin to imagine my life without my new group of blogger-friends. You guys are the best!

I've been having a rough time lately because my anxiety has been high. This is a result of guilt from the deteriorating status of my relationship with the boy I liked. I am not disappointed that we did not work out romantically. I am more so upset that I lost him as friend. In addition, my medication has not been helpful in regulating my moods and is frustrating to wait to find the perfect fit that will help make me happy.

Otherwise, I'm proud of the work I've been doing in my recovery. Despite strong urges and ED thoughts my restricting and overeating has been minimal. I was able to reach out to my friend, who I have been closer to than ever of late, which has been so helpful.

I am still scared of a decline into my ED and my body image hasn't been at it's best. But I am confident than I can go forward. Recovery is a day by day process and all I can do is fight as hard as I can.

I had a family therapy tonight which was, overall, a success. Issues that we have been tackling as a family have been communication and overall anxiety. My parents and I have had a history of trouble expressing our feelings and fears but we have made great progress in the past months. I can say that we are closer than ever and our relationship is the best it has ever been. This is not to say that they don't drive me crazy sometimes, and that conflict does not occur. But we have been formulating ways to unravel these issues and I believe that things can only get better.

My parents, therapist, and I have all come to the conclusion that once my medication begins to address my anxiety, it will make it easier for me to continue the positive work I've already been doing.

And now for some, of course, food pictures:

Some new grocery finds for lunch
Otria Chipotle Cheese Greek yogurt dip mixed with cottage cheese.
And a RonnyBrook farm coconut yogurt.

More new grocery store finds.
I.M. Healthy Soy Nut butter discovered thanks to Bryana.
Bars inspired by a recent post from my new favorite blogger, Mallory!

Tried Thai food take-out for the first time in a long time!
This was vegetable curry.

Spring rolls.
So before wrapping up this extremely long post, I'd just like to extend a huge thank you, yet again, to all of you for your comments and support. It means so much and it gives my healthy, rational voice some much needed back-up.

Have you ever had family therapy?
Do you like thai-food?

Goodnight loves!


Ash said...

I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling at least a little better. Just remember that some days will be hard, but that doesn't mean the next day can't be amazing. Just keep up your positive attitude, and I know you'll go far :)
Its also really great that you're closer to your parents. I have sort of a similar relationship with mine, because sometimes I just don't feel comfortable enough reaching out to them when I'm struggling with ED thoughts. But like you said, it's so much better to get those feelings out in the open.
I love Thai food, as long as there's no coconut in it! My favorite dishes are pad Thai and summer rolls.

Hope you enjoy all that yummy food in your pictures!

Anonymous said...

that all looks so wonderful :) I'm not going to lie, body image is one of the last things to go, so just please keeeeeep on working. Its hard to get past, I have a while to go still with it, but in the end its going to be so worth it, and I know you can do it. Yes, I have had family therapy... it is definately a blessing and a curse, but it the end despite some hard times in family therapy its always good to get out feelings you couldnt otherwise. And about thai food... I've actually not had it in a realllllly long time, but I do like it!

BecomingBryana said...

Em, sorry that you are struggling. I understand where you're coming from with the boy, as something sort of like that happened to me. If you want to talk more about it, I'm here for ya' babe! I got an upgrade in the number of texts I have per month, so feel free to txt me. :-)
I am so glad you are getting close to your friend. When you are ready to let them know what is going on, it really helps to have their support.

And thanks for the shout out!!! Have you tried the soynut butter yet? If so, what did you think?

Missy said...

Don't apologize, silly girl!