It is extraordinarily frustrating to find myself in a binge-restrict cycle again.
I work so hard yet I still find myself hunched over a peanut butter jar, spoon in hand, then shoving M&Ms down as fast as I can.
If I listen to when my body is hungry, I end up restricting.
If I eat in spite of my lack of hunger, I binge.
Where's the freaking middle ground?
I don't mean to be so negative, but it is hard to find a balance when I can listen to what my body craves but also achieve moderation.
Yesterday I had my standard breakfast and a very late lunch because I was out all morning. I should have had a snack when we stopped at Starbucks, but I couldn't bring myself to get anything, so I opted for a Vanilla Robious Tazo tea.
For lunch, a panini of Gorgonzola cheese and thin slices of apple on whole wheat bread.
For dinner I had edamame, swiss chard, salad, and mushrooms.
Then... way too many handfuls of M&Ms that I hardly tasted along with peanut butter.
I'm not proud of what I ate yesterday, but I see where I can achieve more balence so that I don't end up in a binge-state again. As my therapist told me, sometimes all you can do is take the next right step.
This morning I added a banana, and a couple pillows of Kashi Island Vanilla shredded wheat cereal. It tasted, in a word, interesting. The cold and creamy texture is something that I have to become accustomed to, but it something I wouldn't hesitate to try again!
For lunch, I had a half a bagel, which is a fear food for me, with two tablespoons of peanut-cashew-almond butter, and a granny smith apple.
I knew that if that was all I ate I would end up overeating later. So I had a vanilla Chobani, a banana, and a handful of trail mix.
Its tough. But I know I can do it.
How do you achieve balence?
Have you tried overnight oats?