Wednesday, February 16, 2011


So after four months of being in the Intensive Outpatient Program I am graduating!
I am happy that I've reached this milestone but it also brings on some apprehension.
When your starting from the bottom you can only go up, but now that I've come so far, I have so much further to fall.
Lately my thoughts have been really strong, but I've been fighting back just as hard.
It's hard to feel confident in myself when I've been sick lately but I've managed to feel okay. I've learned alot about myself so I have a better idea of what makes me and my eating disorder tick.

A brief recap of the last days eats:

Breakfast has been the same Kashi cereals because in my opinion, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Yesterday for lunch I had a Mexican style mix of red peppers, carrots, salsa, beans, and greens. I also had an apple on the side.
Today I packed a salad of Athenos blue cheese crumbles over greens and a pear along with an Odwalla Original Superfood bar.

Lately, I've been snacking on Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered power-berries, which my eating disorder hates but I've been loving. Today I had them in Greek yogurt with frozen berries and strawberry jam, so good!

Today I wanted to try out Melissa's recipe for Mixed Berry and Chocolate Chip Bread. I halved the recipes and made muffins. I replaced a frozen berry mix for blueberries and chocolate chips for the last of the power berries! I also substituted half of the white flour for whole wheat. I really liked how they turned out, although my mom said she didn't like them, which kinda bummed me out.

I'm sensitive when someone criticizes or makes an observation on what I'm eating. I've been able to push past comments, they aren't meant maliciously, most of the time its just innocent curiosity, but sometimes it sends me into a mental tailspin.

I am looking forward to a long president's day weekend and the
oppurtunities that come with it. My eating disorder has isolated me from alot of my friends so I want the chance to get back together and talk. When food and social situations collides it is extremley tough for me, but I'm ready for the challenge. It just reinforces that food is a normal and POSITIVE part of life.
Self-talk=Self-care for me.
Now if you excuse me, I'm going to have a mini love affair with these muffins. Foodgasm(:


Ash said...

Congrats on your graduation, girl! That's such a great accomplishment.
I feel the exact same way when someone critiques food that I've made. Usually, it's my mom or sister and I just have to realize that they have different tastes than me but it still hurts.

I tagged you as a Stylish Blogger, so feel free to do it if you want! It's just seven random facts about yourself :)

Keep progressing, I know you can do it!

BecomingBryana said...

Congratulations Miss Thing!

I remember you posting about that other girl who graduated, and that you were wishing it could be you. Well, now it is! You're right, being higher does give you the change to slip and fall, but when you keep fighting as hard as you are, and keep this attitude, falling is just not gonna happen!

Oh, and send me some muffins ASAP. They look beyond delicious! :-)

Trying To Heal said...

Congrats girl!! So proud of you graduating!

I'm glad you liked the muffins! I know some people aren't too fond of them because there isn't a huge amount of sugar in them, but I like to use more natural sugars (like fruit) to bring out that sweetness! Great idea with the addition of the power berries! I'll have to try that next time I get to TJ's and can buy them!!

Happy friday lady!!!

Haley said...

Congratulations on graduating! That's so awesome that you are talking back to ED :)
Also, don't be discouraged about what others have to say about your baking or anything else about yourself for that matter! You're wonderful/beautiful just the way you are :) And for what it's worth, I think the muffins look yum :)
Oh, and I love Kashi, too haha
<3 Haley