Saturday, February 26, 2011

Oats and Thank You.

Hey guys!
I just wanted to send out a quick thank you to everyone for their comments. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

This morning I went to a higher level yoga class and boy was it hard, but my body is thanking me for all the strength and rest I've been allowing it.

For lunch I took your suggestions for bulking up my oats. I knew I had to have something that would keep me satisfied for a long time because I won't have time for my usual afternoon snack today.

I had a usual 1/2 cup serving of oats, with two tablespoons of wheat germ, two tablespoons of three nut butter, a tablespoon of shredded coconut, a 1/4 cup of Orchard mix granola, and some pumpkin butter.
It was realty good and thick, almost like eating pumpkin pie filling.
On the side I also had a Granny smith apple, a banana, and a handful of almonds.

I  hope all of you enjoy your Saturday! Thank you again for all of the support.

Friday, February 25, 2011

It's not what you think..

You may be thinking, oh no, she ate that entire jar of peanut butter with a spoon. But I am happy to say that no, it's not what you're thinking.

Unless you were thinking that inside that jar were some delicious overnight oats.
Upon request of my dear friend the waldbillig here is how to make overnight oats, I post this to prevent you from having to scroll through many pages of Google in order to find a combo that makes sense, as I did.

Basically in any overnight oats combo you must have three components in equal ratios. For example 1/2 cup oats with 1/2 cup almond milk and 1/2 cup Greek yogurt. Yogurt can also be substituted for a mashed banana. Beyond those three components you are free to add whatever you wish, pop in the fridge overnight and voila, a filling and yummy breakfast.

I made my oats last night in this Skippy jar as to use up the last of the peanut butter. Because I have run out of Greek yogurt (AH) I took an idea from one the blogs I frequent, I can't remember which, and mashed a banana to substitute. I also mixed in the last of the almond milk and a tablespoon of wheat germ. In the morning I tossed in a handful of Kashi Good Friends cereal. It was so so good and I will definitely be trying this again.

 For lunch I had a Greek Gods cinnamon vanilla orange yogurt, a tangerine, and arugula with a grain mix. Flavored yogurts are a fear food of mine but  this was so good. I've also tried their honey Greek yogurt and it was amazing.

And for an afternoon snack I had oatmeal cooked in vanilla rice milk, a pear, and shredded coconut. Unfortunately this did not keep me full at all.
Does anyone have any tips for making oats more filling?

I am very excited for my NYC trip tomorrow. I want to be able to enjoy the day without letting my ED get in the way. I hope that when we go out to dinner I will be able to pick something that I actually want rather than what my eating disorder deems okay.

I won't be able to post tomorrow but coming Sunday or Monday I will give a synopsis of my trip!
I won't divulge details of what restaurant I am going to or what area I will be in for safety reasons, but when I get home I won't hesitate to share.
I hope all of you have an amazing weekend!

What is your favorite thing to do in NYC?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Ho hum.

Today was one of those wonderfully average days. The fact that I can fully enjoy and experience an average day still amazes me. Sometimes I am reminded of how I lived in the midnight of my ED and it saddens me that I was reduced to a shell of a person. I think that in a future post I will go further into my past experiences but for today I'm taking it easy.

Because I don't have program on Thursday nights anymore today's afternoon was completely free! I entered into the second half of the day with grand ambitions to tackle some long awaited projects, bake something delicious, go to yoga, and simultaneously study for my biology test tomorrow. Alas, how my visions of grandeur failed, which is perfectly okay.

I walked to the library, paid five dollars in overdue book fees, came home, took a look at my sick mom (I gave her my cold) and decided that I wouldn't make her drive me to yoga, so I got into some sweats and studied. Oh and petted my cats.
Exciting? No. Productive? No. Enjoyable? Yes(:

So as for today's eats:

For breakfast I had a sliced banana, Kashi island vanilla shredded wheat, the last of my Kashi GoLean crunch (AH!) and a tablespoon of coconut over Greek yogurt and honey.

For lunch I packed a simple arugula salad with Sabra hummus and chopped carrots and celery. I also added an Apple Pie Larabar and a Granny Smith apple.

Afternoon snack was boring, but we are seriously low on supplies here in my house so I have an excuse. We're even running out of Greek yogurt. That's when you know it's serious.

Just a mix of Greek yogurt, frozen blueberries, and Kashi GoLean Crisp.

Dinner was really good thanks to mia madre's culinary skills (she went to the hotel school at Cornell so she knows a thing or two about food). I had spinach and mushroom terraki stir-fry, lentil soup, and a couscous and red quinoa mix.

And finally, tonight's snack was oats cooked in almond milk, mixed with three nut butter blend. honey, and a good dose of trail mix on top.

Today I accomplished my goal of wearing a nice outfit. I wore a skirt and tights for the first time in so long. I have been too self conscious to do so but I felt really pretty in it. I had forgotten how much I love fashion and clothes. My eating disorder took that passion for style away from me, but I am gaining it back.

I have alot of plans for future posts and changes coming to the blog, its just a matter of getting around to it.
Tomorrow I can guarantee a brief tutorial of how to make overnight oats if some of you haven't already tried it, and some overview of my preparations for a weekend in NYC.

What do you do on lazy days?
Has body image prevented you from feeling confident in outfits?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"I go ahead and smile."

I've consciously been trying to live in the moment and evaluating the purpose of my actions. I can purposefully rest, purposefully take care of myself, purposefully indulge, as long as it brings me pleasure or happiness. But if things do not go as I expect or I am not present in every moment, I am trying not to judge myself for that.
I think that trying to evaluate my each day this way will help me to live more fully.

I just read "A Long Way Gone," a memoir of a boy soldier from Sierra Leone. The book was extremely moving and horror of war is deeply disturbing but the thing that stuck with me was how the author described the fragility of happiness. I often find myself questioning my own happiness.

As a part of living in the moment, I am trying not to judge the emotions, but simply allow myself to experience them.

I know this change in my thinking is a process, but I think it is the next important step in my recovery, and in battling my perfectionism.

I haven't been chronicling what I've eaten the past two days, but I'm going to start again tomorrow, in the meantime I'll show the highlights of the past days eats.

 My new creation of chocolate chip cookie oats! Everyone should try it. Seriously.
1/2 cup oats, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, 1 tablespoon brown sugar, two tablespoons of chocolate chips, 1 tablespoon coconut.
For my lunch yesterday I had a new overnight oats combo. In the morning I added pumpkin butter and three nut butter from Target. I also packed some granola to mix in. Although it doesn't look pretty, it was really good.

I've been trying to achieve a balence in my eating, and I've been doing okay at it. But if I don't get that balence, I can't sweat it. I am still in recovery and the bumps on the road are a part of the journey. I guess in a way I must accept what feels unnatural as natural.

This week, in order to acknowledge Eating Disorder Awareness week, I want to participate in Operation Beautiful by posting notes in my schools bathrooms and locker room. My friends think its a good idea and I'm really excited about it. I'll let all of you know how it goes!
I've acknowledged EDAW by trying to get my friends not to "fat talk" or put themselves down. None of them know about my ED but I think its still important that I share the knowledge I've gained through my recovery experience.
I've also found that when you wear your beauty confidently, it unconciously gives others permission to do the same.
This inspiration comes from one of my favorite quotes:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson

I have been attempting to live this quote in my life. Starting small with giving myself positive talk about my body. The truth is I don't want to down-talk myself or my body anymore. Its unfair to me and I deserve to treat myself better.

But before I bite off more than I can chew, baby steps.
My goal for this week: wear a nice outfit(:
Sorry for all the rambling! I promise a nice foody post very soon.
Goodnight girls, remember to let your light shine, you are beautiful.

Are you doing anything to "celebrate" EDAW?
Have to tried to stop "fat talk?'

Monday, February 21, 2011

Here we go again.

It is extraordinarily frustrating to find myself in a binge-restrict cycle again.
I work so hard yet I still find myself hunched over a peanut butter jar, spoon in hand, then shoving M&Ms down as fast as I can.
If I listen to when my body is hungry, I end up restricting.
If I eat in spite of my lack of hunger, I binge.
Where's the freaking middle ground?
I don't mean to be so negative, but it is hard to find a balance when I can listen to what my body craves but also achieve moderation.
Any suggestions?

Yesterday I had my standard breakfast and a very late lunch because I was out all morning. I should have had a snack when we stopped at Starbucks, but I couldn't bring myself to get anything, so I opted for a Vanilla Robious Tazo tea.

For lunch, a panini of Gorgonzola cheese and thin slices of apple on whole wheat bread.

Then immediately afterward, because I was so hungry, I had this big yogurt bowl. It was composed of a raisin mix, Orchard Granola, shredded coconut, dark chocolate, honey, and pumpkin butter. It was a really good mix of flavors but I couldn't quite enjoy it.

For dinner I had edamame, swiss chard, salad, and mushrooms.

My appetite refused to be satified so soon after dinner I had a bowl of Greek yogurt, Kashi GoLean crunch, cashew-almond-peanut butter, honey, and some trail mix thrown on top.

Then... way too many handfuls of M&Ms that I hardly tasted along with peanut butter.

I'm not proud of what I ate yesterday, but I see where I can achieve more balence so that I don't end up in a binge-state again. As my therapist told me, sometimes all you can do is take the next right step.
Today for breakfast I had my first ever bowl of overnight oats! The next before, I mixed together 1/2 cup 5 grain cereal, 1/2 cup almond milk, and 1/2 cup Total Greek yogurt along with a splash of vanilla extract, a tablespoon of chai seeds, and a tablespoon of shredded coconut. This morning I added a banana, and a couple pillows of Kashi Island Vanilla shredded wheat cereal. It tasted, in a word, interesting. The cold and creamy texture is something that I have to become accustomed to, but it something I wouldn't hesitate to try again!

For lunch, I had a half a bagel, which is a fear food for me, with two tablespoons of peanut-cashew-almond butter, and a granny smith apple.

I knew that if that was all I ate I would end up overeating later. So I had a vanilla Chobani, a banana, and a handful of trail mix.

Right now I feel satisfied, and I think I will be able to get through the day as balenced as possible.
Its tough. But I know I can do it.

How do you achieve balence?
Have you tried overnight oats?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

This is why we spend so much on groceries.

Bear Naked Fit granola, Balducci's Orchard mix granola (my favorite which is being discontinued!) Dr. Praugers Cali veggie burgers, Greek yogurts

Yes. All that food is for me. No, I do not consume it all at once, most of it gets thrown in the freezer. But when I'm at Kings I can't help but get a little crazy and buy whatever catches my fancy. 

 Here's a breakdown of my purchases.

Kashi pizza, Kashi pasta primaverra, Blake's veggie mac and cheese

Red Mill farms unsweetened shredded coconut, Larabars, Think Thin bars, Bear Naked Granola bar, Soy on the Go cappuccino, Cashewtopia raw vanilla bean gelato

Tate's oatmeal cookies, oats, more greek yogurt(;

If we are what we eat, I am on my way to becoming a tub of Greek yogurt...or a banana. My consumption Kashi products is also a bit excessive.
That stuff is my crack(;

Today I was really really busy. My morning was spent starting an essay for school, eating my standard breakfast, then going to work.

As soon as I got home I rushed to take a shower, and scarfed down a lite Flatout wrap with edamame and avocado inside with a good dose of hot sauce. I also had a gala apple and a cup of chai tea on my way out the door to go canning outside of Kings for my American Cancer Society Relay for Life team.

After standing in the freezing cold an hour and a half I made around 35 dollars, not bad! I rewarded myself by going inside and adding many things to the shopping cart to the dismay of my mom.

When I got home I snacked on Greek yogurt mixed with pumpkin butter, topped with Orchard Mix granola and honey.

Then for dinner I had Kashi pasta primaverra and vegetables. The pasta was so freaking good. I had never had it before but it was delicious!

I went to my friend's house tonight and was able to have alot of fun! Usually I am very isolated within my own thoughts and so uncomfortable in my own skin that I can't enjoy myself. But it was really nice to just relax and act my age.

Finally I came home and tried Cashewtopia's raw vanilla bean gelato over strawberries with dark chocolate. It was AMAZING. Really sweet but in a good way. It is also organic and all natural with only a few ingredients. I would definitely recommend it.

In my effort to balance my eating today, I ended up restricting a bit and I am still short of what I need to have for today. But the hard part is that I like the amount that I ate and it felt more natural then trying to cram in all my exchanges. It is something that I need to bring up with my nutritionist because I know I've dropped a little in weight and I don't want that to continue. In the meantime, I'm going to try to bulk up my meals with all the goodies I bought.,

But for now, its way past my bedtime and I have to get to sleep, lest I pass out on my keyboard.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Welcome back.

 I'm at the point that everyone has been telling me about since I've begun recovery.
The point where you are the mouth of the tunnel, can step out and see the sun.
And all I can think is "I'm home, I'm back."

Its been a very long road and my journey isn't finished. But all the sweat and tears that I've been pouring into my fight with my eating disorder has been paying off.
At my graduation ceremony last night I received the "Strength" award and each girl who I have been in program with said the sweetest and most touching things about the strength they've perceived in my, the fact that they admire my ability to articulate my feelings, and that they felt privileged to have known me. I can't explain how much it meant to me to hear that.
I feel empowered by the fact that my work in recovery has inspired others and I am even more motivated to continue to challenge myself.

I also received student of the month at my school, which felt really good.

Things are coming together. I am so grateful for all the support I've received through battling my eating disorder. I am so blessed in the fact that I am alive, at a healthy weight, typing these words.
It is truly spectacular to be able to wake up every morning with so many opportunities.

I didn't take any pictures of what I ate today, honestly because I was too lazy, but here are yesterday's eats.

For lunch I had some delicious leftover whole wheat with sprouted wheat grass Bella Terra penne with peppers and olive oil over arugula.
(I finished the rest of the pasta for lunch today)
I also packed Greek yogurt with pumpkin butter, honey, and a sprinkle of granola and Trader Joe's Golden Berry Blend. Soo good.

After program I had a bowl of oats with more honey, berry blend, and granola.

I was eating rather sporadically today because my eating schedule tends to get thrown off when I don't have school.
I ended up snacking on alot of chocolate. Although this isn't a bad thing, my body felt a bit off from all the richness combined with the different eating times.
Hopefully tomorrow I can achieve more balance so that my body has time to absorb the benefits of what I'm eating.

Anyways I just want to send out another huge thank you to all of those who have taken the time to comment! It really means so so much.
I hope all of you enjoy your weekend.
Take it as an opportunity to relax!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


So after four months of being in the Intensive Outpatient Program I am graduating!
I am happy that I've reached this milestone but it also brings on some apprehension.
When your starting from the bottom you can only go up, but now that I've come so far, I have so much further to fall.
Lately my thoughts have been really strong, but I've been fighting back just as hard.
It's hard to feel confident in myself when I've been sick lately but I've managed to feel okay. I've learned alot about myself so I have a better idea of what makes me and my eating disorder tick.

A brief recap of the last days eats:

Breakfast has been the same Kashi cereals because in my opinion, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Yesterday for lunch I had a Mexican style mix of red peppers, carrots, salsa, beans, and greens. I also had an apple on the side.
Today I packed a salad of Athenos blue cheese crumbles over greens and a pear along with an Odwalla Original Superfood bar.

Lately, I've been snacking on Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered power-berries, which my eating disorder hates but I've been loving. Today I had them in Greek yogurt with frozen berries and strawberry jam, so good!

Today I wanted to try out Melissa's recipe for Mixed Berry and Chocolate Chip Bread. I halved the recipes and made muffins. I replaced a frozen berry mix for blueberries and chocolate chips for the last of the power berries! I also substituted half of the white flour for whole wheat. I really liked how they turned out, although my mom said she didn't like them, which kinda bummed me out.

I'm sensitive when someone criticizes or makes an observation on what I'm eating. I've been able to push past comments, they aren't meant maliciously, most of the time its just innocent curiosity, but sometimes it sends me into a mental tailspin.

I am looking forward to a long president's day weekend and the
oppurtunities that come with it. My eating disorder has isolated me from alot of my friends so I want the chance to get back together and talk. When food and social situations collides it is extremley tough for me, but I'm ready for the challenge. It just reinforces that food is a normal and POSITIVE part of life.
Self-talk=Self-care for me.
Now if you excuse me, I'm going to have a mini love affair with these muffins. Foodgasm(:

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's day everyone!

If you have a special someone then I hope you enjoyed the opportunity to show public displays of affection in the form of hearts and chocolate. If you're like me, and the only Valentine card you received was from your little brother, then take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Today was just one of those days for me, I woke up feeling sick so I only went to school for my last two classes. I've been anxious all day and Eating Disorder and critical thoughts have been ringing in my ears. Its really hard to power through when I feel so weak and helpless. I literally am weighed down by the burdens of worthless, fat, and lazy feelings.

Its upsetting to know that I still put myself down after I've done some amazing things. At the retreat yesterday I received so many complimentary comments about how inspiring my talk was and how brave I was to talk about my eating disorder. I was able to eat despite some urges to restrict. I've been trying hard to keep up in school.
Yet the perfectionist inside me is still not satisfied!
And it never will be, learning to be content with myself is so hard. I am constantly battling just to feel okay and honestly, I'm exhausted.

But I know that things will turn out okay. I can make it through.

Yesterday's retreat was actually alot of fun. I enjoyed getting closer to the rest of the team and the group of kids were really sweet. Overall it was an enjoyable experience and I'm glad I got to be an active participant. Not just a passive observer like I was for everything in the midnight of my ED.

Yesterday and today I had the same breakfast of Kashi vanilla shredded wheat, GoLean crunch, and bananas with vanilla almond milk.

I packed my lunch, dinner and snack for the retreat, it turned out to be quite a spread!

For lunch I had Greek yogurt with banana chips, vanilla granola, an apple, and Justin's honey peanut butter.

Snack was a Kashi chocolate coconut granola bar and a chocolate milk.

And for dinner, Trader Joe's curried chick peas, carrots, mixed greens, and a lite Flat Out wrap.

Today for lunch I had nutella sandwich with strawberry jam inspired by Two Peas and Their Pod along with greek yogurt with rasberries and strawberries.

Although I did not have a Valentine this year, my parents made my day when my mom gave me flowers and my dad promised me Swarovski crystal earrings! The fact that they went out of their way to get me something lifted me a bit.

Now I'm to yoga, where hopefully I can shake this bad mood.

I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

What I'm Loving

What I'm loving this week:
  1. Trader Joe's Green Tea mints
  2. Covergirl Outlast lip stain
  3. Organix Brazilian Keratin Treatment shampoo and conditioner
  4. Trader Joe's vanilla almond milk
  5. Gap knit socks
  6. OUCH band-aids from Old Navy
  7. Jersey Devil's spicy raspberry dark chocolate
  8. Bryanna, Ayla and Ash's comments, it means so much guys!
  9. Justin's Chocolate Peanut Butter
  10. the fact that it has only snowed twice this past week :P
Tomorrow I'm going to working a retreat all day. At the retreat I am giving a talk to about forty people about my struggle with my eating disorder. I'm actually more excited for this then scared. I hope that those listening can gain something by hearing about my journey. I've decided to pack my own food for the retreat instead of trying to eat what everyone else is being served. I know that I could challenge this fear, but honestly I'd rather be able to be comfortable and focus on the work that I'm doing with the younger kids than worrying about the foods I've eaten.

Today I went to work again, and it actually was pretty enjoyable. Besides the fact that my lips and hands were a lovely shade of purple by the end of the lessons that is.

I was able to more successfully space out my exchanges today! I doubled my amount of cereal so that I would be full until I came home from work.

For lunch I had a bowl of oat with Bear Naked granola, a chopped apple, honey, and almond butter. I also snacked on a pear before heading to a CYO meeting.

When I got home I had a mix of frozen berries, Kashi Strawberry Fields cereal, and Greek yogurt.

Dinner was a challenge tonight, I had my ultimate fear food, pizza. I ate half of a Kashi roasted vegetable pizza, and it was pretty good. My pace during the meal was faster than I would have liked, so I wasn't really able to enjoy it. But overall I was happy that I was able to face a fear!

To finish off the night, I had a Kashi oatmeal raisin cookie dunked in vanilla almond milk.

If you haven't noticed, I have a thing for Kashi.

The extent of my obsession becomes apparent when my dad and I go grocery shopping and we leave with a cart of three different Kashi cereals, two huge 8 oz. containers of Chobani Greek yogurt, five Odwalla bars, and two bunches of bananas.

Oh, not two mention two different nut butters and 3 different types of jelly.

Yes, we are a family that consumes far more then the average. This may be the reason why we spend more on groceries than we have on the past five years of vacations...

Oh well, food trumps Disneyland in my book(: 

Friday, February 11, 2011

"and I think to myself, what a wonderful world"

You know that feeling when you are pleasantly tired, comfortably full, and warm after being freezing cold? Its pretty amazing(:
I had my first day of work today and it was scary, exhausting, and cold. But it felt good to be doing something productive. I'm still not sure how I like it, but I think teaching swim lessons may grow on me.

I actually wasn't that self conscious about being in a swim suit. I also was apprehensive about how I would feel about being back in the pool because I used to swim 6 days a week for a team, then was forced to stop because of my eating disorder. But I was so occupied with smiling and making sure none of the children drowned that I didn't have any time to feel uncomfortable!

Today for lunch I packed a feta salad with my favorite salsa, Santa Barbara brand, as well as a tortilla to put some of the salad in, and a Granny Smith apple.

When I got home from a physiatrist appointment, most of which was spent discussing the Jersey Shore cast, I had yet another yogurt mix. I was still pretty hungry so I ended up having a banana before dinner to tide me over.

Before I went to work, I had Trader Joe's spiced soybeans with asparagus, salad, and brown rice. I was able to have more then my eating disorder wanted me to, which was good!

I didn't space out my exchanges for my meal plan wisely today so I had to have a big night snack. Usually this might be overwhelming but I was really hungry so it was okay. I had a Kashi oatmeal raisin cookie (cookies are one of my fear foods) as well as a cereal mix with Greek yogurt and almond+peanut butter.

Yesterday in IOP we wrote affirmation calenders, which I found to be really motivating. I think that having a motivational phrase for each day is comforting and nice mood booster.

I'm really proud of the work I've been doing to rationalize my perfectionist and anxious thoughts. I'm trying really hard to make myself realize that its okay to be comfortable with myself and my body. Its easier said than done, but that okay. It was really powerful for me last night when during family group at program all of the parents were describing how much they wish their daughters could see all their gifts, talents and beauty.

I couldn't help but smile as each mother or father gazed at their daughters with such adoration as they described how proud they are of the work they've been doing and the people that they are. Hearing from my own parents was a unique and special experience as well. My eating disorder has taken so much from me, but it has helped to strengthen my relationships with my family, for which I am grateful.

I'm still having alot of trouble with dealing with urges to restrict. I have been able to consistently fulfill my meal plan, but my ED tends to want to hoard all my exchanges until the end of the day. Its become like a safety net for me in case I suddenly have the appetite of a team of football players or the desire to consume an entire chocolate cake. Obviously that is not realistic. As my nutritionist described it, its like I'm buying flood insurance in a desert. I have to push through my fears in order to be able to eat in a normal, balanced way.

My goals for this upcoming week?
Pick one thing I like about myself a day, and say it aloud. Baby steps make up the journey(:

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My philosophy on red lipstick and thongs.

So I've decided that while I'd love to be able to post daily, with my busy schedule, its just not possible. While my perfectionism tells me that I should suck it up and write a post a day or to hell I shall be damned, I'm putting my foot down. Because if there is no joy in writing this, whats the point?
Before I get into the deep stuff, AKA my philosophy on red lipstick and thongs(; , a brief synopsis of the past days eatings.

 My breakfasts have been the same, just a banana with Kashi GoLean Crunch and milk.

For lunch yesterday I had a salad with feta, tomotatoes, and garlic hummus.

My luch today was another salad with carrots, feta, and pumpkin seeds. I also tried a new granola bar which was pretty good but not very filling. Yummy though(:
 My afternoon snacks have been different Kashi cereal and Total greek yogurt mixes. Yesterday I had frozen mixed berries in my mix with honey and today's yogurt had peanut butter in it.
They are super filling and delicious! I would definatley recommend it to anyone looking for a snack or even a mini meal if you up the nut butter and cereal in it.

Things have been going well for me, I'm really trying to focus on living in the moment and combating my bad body-image thoughts. Its hard work but I'm proud of the effort I've been putting in to it.

So what is with my provocative title? No, I am not offering a commentary on my veiw of strippers.

I am talking about confidence boosters. I think that its important that everyone has a small aresenal of things that make them feel good to pull out when you may be having a tough time, or just if you want to feel special.

Things that I do that make me feel better are reading a page of Harry Potter, visiting my favorite blog pages, or, you guessed it, wearing a cute pair of underwear with a hot shade of lipstick.

What are your secret confidence boosters?